I thought once I wasn't pregnant anymore, the stupid questions and observations would end. Oh, how naive I was! I don't know what it is about pregnancy, childbirth, and newborns that makes people think they can ask extremely personal questions about your body and your child, but they do. Boy, do they. I was pretty shocked to learn that people actually think it's acceptable to ask if you're planning to have the baby the natural way. At what other time in life is it appropriate to ask someone what they plan to do with their private parts? I find questions about breastfeeding equally intrusive. Really, is it anyone's business how people feed their children? It's a pretty personal decision, in my opinion. My husband suggested that the next time someone asks me if I'm breastfeeding, I should respond by asking, "Why? Are you thirsty?" I also had one person, comment, "Well, you sure waited a long time" to have a baby. Wow! As if that is anyone's business either.
The most annoying question since "How are you feeling?" and "Are you still pregnant?" is definitely "Is she a good baby?" What kind of question is that, anyway? I don't know why, but everyone--and I mean everyone--asks this question. For me, it brings to mind good old Veruca Salt and Willy Wonka's "good egg/bag egg" detector. I picture good babies and bad babies dropping down, with the good babies going on their merry way and the bad ones dropping down the chute. Honestly, what would someone say if I responded with, "No. She's a terrible baby. We hate her." Of course she's a good baby. She's ours and we love her. It wouldn't matter if she cried all day and all night, that would still be the case. The other question that makes me question people's sanity is, "Does she sleep?" Well sure, sometimes. Just like sometimes she's awake. Do people honestly expect a newborn to be sleeping through the night? I didn't, and I still don't. (For the record, she usually gets up twice during the night after my husband lays her down between 11 and 11:30.) It's also pretty funny when people see her sleeping for half an hour and assume that it means she's an excellent baby who sleeps all the time and never cries. Of course! I tend to invite these people to stop over between 9 and 11 at night. Perhaps the worst offenders are those who joke about stealing or taking the baby. I understand that they are just joking, but honestly, it's not funny. Also, it's one thing when it's someone you know, but when some random stranger comments at a children's Halloween parade that maybe this couple will give her their baby, it's another thing entirely.
I can't wait to see what people start asking us next! I'm guessing it will probably be when we are going to have another one. Those people will kindly be invited to make donations to our bank account.