I'm now in my sixth week at home with Jane. That means my maternity leave will soon draw to a close. I have to admit, I'm pretty heartbroken about it. The thought of bringing my daughter to daycare and returning to work is clouding my joy in these last weeks at home. I never thought I'd be one who wanted to stay at home with her children, but now that I am faced with the reality, I find myself wanting nothing more. Unfortunately, that's not in the plan, and it's really not feasible for us.
I had originally planned to return to work on the Monday after Thanksgiving. Fearing that I would be a sobbing mess all through the holiday, I asked for an extra week off. I will likely try going in to work on Dec. 2 and 3 for a test run. I'm sure it will get easier with time, but right now I can't imagine anything worse than going back to work. I'm angry that someone else gets to spend the day with my baby, while I have to work. It's pretty sad that, in today's society, staying home with one's children has come to be a luxury. Either you have to be rich, or resign yourself to being really poor, in order to make it work. Just taking a maternity leave longer than six weeks is a major hardship for many people. I am fortunate to have been able to take off the time that I have. Yet I keep feeling that if I just had even a few weeks more - until after the holidays at least, I'd be a lot happier. But I know that can't happen and I need to start preparing myself. I know that plenty of children have gone to daycare, and none of them love their parents any less. They still know who mom and dad are, and love them most. No matter what, we'll still be a family.