Saturday, January 1, 2011

Looking back

I'm sitting here on the first morning of the new year, watching my almost 3-month-old baby daughter playing on the floor, happily squealing away. One year ago, we were still hoping that by this time the next year we would be parents. Our hopes came true!
Yesterday I was contemplative and a bit sad about the year 2010 being gone. As years go, it was definitely one of the best of my life. I loved being pregnant, giving birth to my daughter, and every moment that followed, both good and bad. I would live all of it over again in a heartbeat. I would do some things the same, and change some as well. I can't help feeling as though I could have done a better job at times. I think that's a natural feeling for a parent.
As much as I would love to hang on to what has passed, I am equally looking forward to the future. By this time next year our little Jane will be running around, and, if she takes after her parents at all, running into things! There's so much to look forward to--her first foods, her first words, her first steps ... and as we experience these moments with her we will watch her grow and become more beautiful each day. Yet I still can't help but mourn the loss of the squishy little newborn we'll never get to hold again.

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