Monday, July 12, 2010

Don't touch!

Now that the belly is finally starting to get "out there," I'm starting to get some unsolicited belly rubs. Why do people do this? I've never done it and wouldn't. I find it highly inappropriate. My motto is, "If you didn't help make it, it's not yours to touch." (The same applies to giving birth: if you didn't help make it, don't expect to be there when it comes out.) I could go on and on about this, but since I'm trying to have a sense of humor on the subject, I'll just make a little list instead. Presenting ways I am considering to prevent people from touching the belly.
1. Strap .22 pistol to belly.
2. Start shrieking and slapping myself in the face when someone tries to touch.
3. T-shirt that says "You can touch my belly if I can punch your face."
4. Rub belly/grab breast/other inappropriate touching in return.
5. Whisper, "Be careful, you don't want to anger baby Beelzebub."

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