Now that the belly is finally starting to get "out there," I'm starting to get some unsolicited belly rubs. Why do people do this? I've never done it and wouldn't. I find it highly inappropriate. My motto is, "If you didn't help make it, it's not yours to touch." (The same applies to giving birth: if you didn't help make it, don't expect to be there when it comes out.) I could go on and on about this, but since I'm trying to have a sense of humor on the subject, I'll just make a little list instead. Presenting ways I am considering to prevent people from touching the belly.
1. Strap .22 pistol to belly.
2. Start shrieking and slapping myself in the face when someone tries to touch.
3. T-shirt that says "You can touch my belly if I can punch your face."
4. Rub belly/grab breast/other inappropriate touching in return.
5. Whisper, "Be careful, you don't want to anger baby Beelzebub."