Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Who you gonna call?

We attended the second round of our labor & delivery class last night, and it gave me nightmares. Well, not nightmares, exactly, but I did dream about birth and baby all night. I think it was the combination of being inundated with information and being overly tired. I had spent the previous evening at a two-hour-plus school board meeting and really could have done with a night at home, but what can you do?
We had speakers at this class, which made it more interesting. The first was the anesthetist, who appeared far too young to be sticking needles in peoples' backs. He was wearing a wedding ring and a shirt that said "Dad," though, so I guess he's okay.
The next speaker was a doctor, who just happens to be our doctor. He answered a lot of questions and did his best to scare the bejeezus out of everyone. At one point, he asked all of us, "When you go into labor, who you gonna call?" Now, everyone knows that the correct answer to "Who you gonna call?" is always "Ghostbusters." Or at least they should. Yet, my husband and I were the only ones to whisper, "Ghostbusters." This child doesn't stand a chance of not being a smartass.
The doctor also gave us the opportunity for another smart comment. He was talking about doctors being on call, and my husband asked what the chances are of actually getting your own doctor. You know, the one you actually like, trust, and have been seeing for the past eight months? After he answered, I whispered to my husband, "Yes, but we know where he lives. We can just show up at his house." After which, my husband promptly repeated what I had just said to the doctor. Fortunately he has a good sense of humor. And really, that's what you get when you tell your patients that your house is just across the parking lot.
We also got to tour the rooms. They're very nice, but I am dreading having to spend time in that bed, which looks dreadfully uncomfortable. I'm also beginning to dread having visitors while I'm there. Though, I guess I'd rather have them visit in the hospital than show up at our house uninvited in the week or two following. Why is it that everyone needs to see a new baby instantly after it's born? Give it a day or a week! Although I'm sure that will fall on deaf ears for most people. Still, I'd really like to spend those few hours after the birth alone with our little family. I'd like to be given the chance to breastfeed and bond with the baby, take a shower or bath, and make myself presentable before the brigade shows up. My husband suggested not telling anyone when we go to the hospital. That's a great idea, except when you're close to your due date and disappear, people are going to notice. Plus, I won't be at work so that will be a dead giveaway.
One more thing: at one point in the class the instructor was talking about consent forms for epidurals and such, and mentioned that there are terrible side effects listed, including death. She said something to the effect that things can happen anywhere. "You can die at the dentist's office!" Yes, but the dentist doesn't go around sticking needles into my back! Just saying ...
I've rambled on long enough for one day, but soon I need to post some pictures of the baby's room. I'm no expert, but I'd say we're almost done. We just have a touch more decorating to do. I'm glad we have all of this out of the way while I'm still feeling well ... though hopefully I will continue to feel that way!

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